nocturnaSOLER

well lots of changes happened actually

but well of course im such a lazy fucktard

in the midst of aint doin anythin

i still cant find anytime to blog em down...

lazy lazy fucktard gawd im so lazy...

right naw i aint workin for the resto that i used to work for...

i moved to somewhere greater....somewhere potentially rewarding...

well thats what i thought...

well the pay is aint that bad...plus getting an incentive once in a while...

but hey there gonna kill me out of fer-ckin boredom...

its like they're payin me to do nothin and to feel stupid and lazy..

gawd awful mess...

i hate myself for steppin into a territory that i should'nt even meddled with from the start...

gawd...i can be really stupid....

hindi talaga ako pang office material na tao...lelx nabobored ako kaagad...i hate bein a trainee.... ive been workin here for like 2 days now...but dont give me that im-new-eventually-everything-will-be-fine bullcrap....

ang bangis ng angst ko eheheh....

but anywho....HELLO WORLD... thats just gay..lelx

nocturnaSOLER

i was doin my thing takin my 30 mins break at work...

and all of the sudden...

WHAM!!!...

tentenententen...

i was back on the last day of my vacation..

it was 6:00 am *ehem around that time*...

groggy...a lil tipsy from the last night's drinking spree and emo moments...

me grace pau were at our feet dont know where to start our final hours...

walkin walkin along ccp *near star city ba yun*

takin pictures....welcoming the japanese people in the shuttle bus giving them a very welcoming filipino wave!!!...

sweatin walkin...

walkin and sweatin some more...

pau got bored...she wanted to swaet some more...

did her fancy pansy powerwalk...*dead hilarious*

lovin it lovin it....

HELLO MANILA!!!

eheheh

i ma do this later im using the pc of my superior ginna get caught...dont want to get fired....need money...lolx

laters na nga....

nocturnaSOLER

its been a long while and i feel that i should be writting or atleast already written something about my recent blissful vacation!!!!

but where to start!!! ermmm

what to write?!?! ermmmm

c'mmon think think....

dig deep to that memory basket of yours anne..

*tic tac tic tac*

ermm okay im drained....

mmmmkay that went well!!!!

well --> meaning atleast get to write something!!!

 i love my friends...i love you pau..grace ..julie..pau...grace?!?..veron...ciara..gale..pau?!?!..julie...?!?!?sin-zi?!?!?!?!?!?...

ahahaha .... i miss you guys effin so bad...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAU!!!!....twenteen ka na padadalhan kita ng olay age defying cream...lolx coz you tend to worry so damn much!!! lolx

i miss el pilipins so mats!!!! aww shoot me!!!

maybe next time i'll post some pics...

nocturnaSOLER

i dont want it to end pero..wala eh ganun talaga!!!...

as much as i wanted to post everything that has happened to me for tha past *beautiful* three weeks... i cant mainly because im using this fucked-up-third-world-country-internet-connection of mine...walang ma ooffend im just talkin about how my connection suck...eheh ang hirap pag naka internet card kasi eh..lolx..ang pangit ng pldt vibe..lolx kasi d ka maka connect tuwing sunday tas laging naddc after 4 hours talking about a total git'..lolx

pero kung kayo ay naka pldt vibe at di nyo naexperience ung mga sinabi ko wow ang swerte mo!!! eheheh

un lang next time na ung the rest of it!!! basta i dont want it to end..

nocturnaSOLER

wonder how will my month of june will end since it started with a bang....

june 2

 My grandpa died at 4 pm....i was at work at that time and my mom called me and i was so devastated.. and i remember myseLf loosing it ...i remember myself crying and almost screamin this words (or i did scream it ) "TITO PATAY NA SI TATAY"...and i was so disoriented at that time that i didnt know what to do...so i came rushing to the door with all the tears and it just wont stop flowing (i cant even believe it myself)....as we came closer to the place he died i saw my mom, my grandma, my aunts standing around my grandpas dead bed and all of 'em crying it just tore my heart even more. ..

 At around 5 pm everyone is a lil bit composed..we just pulled ourselves together and we we're sitting around my grandpa's carcass ( okay corpse...carcass just gives you that idea that his rotting ..covered wit maggots...) we we're waiting for the mortuary guy that would bring my grandpa's remains in the uhmmm mortuary?!?.. we we're even making fun and teasing...they we're tellin me "ANNE TAWAG KA NI TATAY MAY BUBULONG SHA".

 I sat beside his bed and i was trying to hold my tears. I was talkin to him and i was touching his face...and suddenly i kissed him in the forehead and told him "D MO MAN LANG ININTAY BIRTHDAY KO!!!" ...from there i just cant hold it in no longer so i went outside to smoke..then i noticed my dad was right behind me and he saw me lit a cig..but i didnt care...

 5:30pm the mortuary dude came in... he was a big-black-guy wearing a white long-sleeved button up shirt..and black pants...and he was holding a hat that charlie chaplin would use!!!. Just what i just imagine he would be like...after reading christopher moore's novel "A dirty job" mr. fresh just came in my mind that instant minus the mint green clothes..

 He took my grandpa's remain by one hand damn and lift it like my grandpa was only a pencil " a number 2 pencil ..if it would make any difference"..of course we  we're crying like crap....

 june 3

i just realized im just bad at handling grief...   loss.. depression

..mockery...:D

im bad at handling it pero i can see that i can totally go through it !!!

june 8

last day sa school finally...krap 

june 9

wala lang birthday ko pero what's the point of celebrating tsaka na ko mag cecelebrate pag uwi..

june 30

aun na...

i know everything would be okay!!! :D